Wednesday, December 28, 2011

light a candle


Oak Tree Corner is on a short break at the moment, but held one special meeting before taking off for the holidays. The last meeting of the year is reserved for the candle lighting ceremony, a time of quiet reflection.

For many families suffering a loss, this may be the first holiday season in which their loved one won't be there. The holiday season is a tough time for anyone who is grieving, be it the first, second, or even 20th year without that person.

The candle ceremony allows Oak Tree families and volunteers to take a moment to honor the person they are missing. Oak Tree Corner is a safe place, a place where everyone gathers for the same reason, and the candle ceremony is a time for everyone to think of those who have died, to remember, to cry, and to just feel whatever it is they need to be feeling.

Participants in the candle ceremony gather in a large circle and each person is given an unlit candle. The ceremony leader typically reads a short poem or says a few words, then lights her own candle. She passes the light to the person standing next to her and, as each person lights their candle, they say who it is they're remembering.

Everyone is encouraged to talk for as long as they need as they light their candle and, for this reason, this tends to be the night at Oak Tree when the most tears are shed. Families gather, long after the candles have been blown out, to talk, wish each other well, and comfort each other, all reluctant to leave the warmth and support of the Oak Tree circle.

This time of year can be especially painful for those who are grieving. Take a look at this Dayton Daily News article for information about dealing with grief around the holidays, and tips on how to help others through the grieving process during this difficult time of year.