Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Spring 2014 Wishlist

We've been doing some spring cleaning and have updated our Wishlist items! Please take a look at our new list and donate if you are able -- items can be dropped off at the OTC house (136 Far Hills Ave), but please call 937-285-0199 for drop off times.

We need:

1. Dress-up clothes and hats

2. Juice boxes

3. Shoe boxes

4. Gift cards: Kroger, Staples, pizza chains, and bookstores

5. Wrapping paper (white and primary colors)

6. Paper towels

7. Glue sticks

8. Games such as Jenga and Connect Four

We cannot use stuffed animals at this time. Thank you so much for your continued support!

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Silver Lining Wrap-Up 2014



Thank you to all who attended Oak Tree Corner’s Silver Lining Celebration and Raffle! We were so fortunate to have had such beautiful weather and, even better, a fantastic turnout.

We are happy to report that we raised $9,000 from the celebration, which will help us continue to provide support to grieving children in the Miami Valley.

Congratulations to all of our raffle winners and a big thank you to all who donated that day. We could not exist without your support!

Some of our fantastic raffle prizes!
If, at any time, you'd like to donate to Oak Tree Corner, you can do so either on the OTC website or by sending a check or money order to: 2312 Far Hills Ave. PMB 108, Dayton, OH 45419.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Why I Volunteer: Part 4

Today's post is by Jennie Baxla, a Beavercreek volunteer. 


I don’t live all that far from the Oak Tree Corner house, so I find myself driving by the building quite often. Oak Tree Corner is housed in a yellow Cape Cod, situated on a busy corner in Oakwood, the yard full of happy little trees and bright flowers. There’s a sign on the side that reads, “center for grieving children.” I’ve been volunteering there for seven years.

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Oak Tree Corner was founded in 1996 as a place for grieving children and families to find some sort of comfort. Volunteers, or group facilitators, gather twice a month and lead groups of children in activities designed to facilitate discussion about their grief. I work with the youngest group, the Littles, usually aged 4-6, and there are two other groups, the Middles and Teens. The parents meet in a separate group, led by another volunteer. All volunteers go through an extensive and, at times, emotionally exhausting training before leading these groups.

Whenever new volunteers start at Oak Tree Corner, they observe on their first night. It can be overwhelming. Sure, there’s the training, but there’s always some anxiety, especially just starting out, when faced with a group of grieving children. “Will I say the wrong thing?” (Probably not, especially if you let the kids do most of the talking, which is what you’re supposed to do anyway.) “What if someone cries?” (Surprisingly, this hardly ever happens.) “I can’t do this.” (Yes. You can.)

After group, the volunteers gather to share their experiences from the night. On nights when we have new volunteers, the old volunteers take turns sharing why they decided to volunteer with Oak Tree Corner. I always say some variation of the same thing. I heard about Oak Tree Corner from a co-worker. I’d been looking for a place to volunteer where I wouldn’t be relegated to just answering phones or stuffing envelopes, ideally working kids, and this seemed perfect. I was a bit nervous that I would be dealing with children in the midst of the grieving process, but my worrying, as it so often is, was all for naught. Working with these kids has been life changing. It really has.

The last time I drove by the Oak Tree Corner house, I really thought about my answer to that question...“why do I come to Oak Tree Corner?” My answer, given so many times now, has become rote. It’s the real answer, sure, but, since I find it difficult to share my emotions with near strangers, it’s not the real real answer. It’s not the gooey-center-of-my-heart answer.

This past August, I took a new job and I love it. I finally feel like I’m doing something good for the world. But it’s the first job I’ve had where I’ve felt that way. Before that, I didn’t really feel like I was making the world a better place. That’s what drove me to Oak Tree Corner. I wanted to help.

It's been a year since the Boston Marathon bombings, so of course it's been on my mind, like it has for so many others. I, like most people, followed along in horror that day, on Twitter, on Facebook, on the everlasting suck-cycle that is our news media, my stomach sinking as each new piece of information came in. Yet, in the aftermath of this terror, comedian Patton Oswalt posted the following on Facebook:

I remember, when 9/11 went down, my reaction was, "Well, I've had it with humanity."

But I was wrong. I don't know what's going to be revealed to be behind all of this mayhem. One human insect or a poisonous mass of broken sociopaths.

But here's what I DO know. If it's one person or a HUNDRED people, that number is not even a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent of the population on this planet. You watch the videos of the carnage and there are people running TOWARDS the destruction to help out. This is a giant planet and we're lucky to live on it but there are prices and penalties incurred for the daily miracle of existence. One of them is, every once in awhile, the wiring of a tiny sliver of the species gets snarled and they're pointed towards darkness.

But the vast majority stands against that darkness and, like white blood cells attacking a virus, they dilute and weaken and eventually wash away the evil doers and, more importantly, the damage they wreak. This is beyond religion or creed or nation. We would not be here if humanity were inherently evil. We'd have eaten ourselves alive long ago.

So when you spot violence, or bigotry, or intolerance or fear or just garden-variety misogyny, hatred or ignorance, just look it in the eye and think, "The good outnumber you, and we always will."


When I read that then, and when I read it now, I can’t help but think...THAT is why I volunteer. I want to be a part of Oswalt’s vast majority. I want to make the world a better place, in my own tiny way, even if it’s only by volunteering two days a month. It’s often difficult to measure our successes at Oak Tree Corner. It’ll most likely be years or, you know, NEVER before we know if anything we say or do benefits the children we work with. But I have to believe it does. I have to believe in trying to make the world a little brighter, in doing my part to tip the scales to Good. I have to believe that Oak Tree Corner, this small shining light, is really just one of many, a million stars brightening the night sky.


Jennie has been with Oak Tree Corner for seven years. She also works for SICSA Pet Adoption Center. In her spare time, she enjoys reading any book she can get her hands on, writing, and taking countless pictures of her pets.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Why I Come to Oak Tree Corner: Part 3

Today's post is brought to us by Carole Judge, a Beavercreek volunteer.


When my mother died in a car accident the weekend of my senior prom, my world was altered forever.  For years, the grief I felt that fateful day would repeatedly haunt me and intensify during life’s “everyday” moments.  High school graduation was a blur; I cried throughout most of the event.  But I remember lyrics of a song we had to sing:

It's time for moving on; hold back all the tears and sorrow...
It’s finally time, to go our separate ways...
As we search for new tomorrows...
Don't forget the yesterdays...
 
I also recall there was no place like Oak Tree Corner where I could share my feelings with other people my age suffering similar loss.  I was a teen who suddenly felt like a child.  I only knew one other girl whose mom had died.  She tried to teach me about unit pricing one day at the grocery store.  I didn’t want to learn.  I SHOULDN’T BE SHOPPING FOR MY OWN FOOD YET – I’M NOT READY – IM A KID!  Friends and family tried to provide comfort, but they could not offer the kind of support I needed.

That’s why I volunteer.  I’m a survivor.  I went to college, moved away from home, got married, had a career and children, and experienced a full life without the care and loving hand of a mother – the cheerleader of my universe.

At Oak Tree Corner, groups I’ve facilitated over the past 10+ years can be described in one word: complex!  Teens’ loved ones have died from illness, suicide, accident and senseless violence.  One week during our group session, a teen might reveal resilience and strength.  The following week, that same teen can seem so broken and weak he or she can’t even cry.  Some group members are hopeful and open; others are closed, scared, and angry.  We talk about it all.  We cry, but we also laugh.   I’ve watched teens develop strong, caring and confidential relationships with other teens they only see on Tuesday nights.  They show incredible kindness to a new member who is hurting.  They also call each other out for what they think are inappropriate comments and regularly give caring smack downs regarding shame or blame.  As a facilitator, what I hope I offer is an example that life can go on.  I never deny how afraid I felt or suggest it was easy.  It wasn’t.  At times it was crippling.

Years after my mother’s death, my husband came home one night to find me on the kitchen floor, sobbing and holding my infant daughter.  The birth of this beautiful baby ripped open my wound and I missed my mother all over again.  Healthy healing from the early loss of a parent or sibling can take years or decades, but I truly believe getting help can shorten the duration.  After peeling me off the floor, my husband bought me the book, “Motherless Daughters” by Hope Edelman.  Reading it probably began my true healing process because in it women shared feelings I thought were only mine.  The same thing happens at Oak Tree Corner – but Oak Tree is better – it’s real!

Taking the classes to become a grief group facilitator brought me full circle.  Teens come to my group weeks or years after they’ve experienced the death of a loved one.  Siblings, grandparents, parents, and dear friends die everyday, but for children, the impact can be devastating.  I felt flattened.  Today I volunteer with Oak Tree Corner because what I suffered after my mother’s death is not unique.  The work gives me purpose and I feel it’s my responsibility.  It can be difficult at times, but it’s always honest.

(It’s important to note this valuable local organization is non-profit and exists on donations from our community.)

Carole Judge has over ten years experience volunteering with Oak Tree Corner. She primarily works with the teens and is also the unofficial OTC photographer.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Why I Come to Oak Tree Corner: Part Two

Today's installment is by Bonnie Burrell, who facilitates the adult group in Beavercreek.



My two oldest nephews were six and three when their mother died. It was 1988 and I admit the entire family was ignorant regarding children's grief. My brother, their father, talked to his pastor for himself and that was it. My brother turned the boys over to his wife's mother to raise them. He removed all pictures of his dead wife, don't ask me why. My husband and I would pick the kids up every other weekend and I tried to attend all their sporting events.

My mother died by suicide in 1993 and my brother jokingly told my nephews that she had died while on the toilet. I talked to both of them and explained to them that Grandma had been really sad since my other brother had died in 1986 and had killed herself. I also asked them to come to me if they ever felt that way.

Around 1996, my eldest nephew was breaking into cars to get money to buy marijuana. There were other issues he was dealing with, like their dad remarrying and his girlfriend moving. Once, when both boys were staying over, the oldest said he felt like killing himself because no one would care. I talked to him immediately. I called their grandma and his dad to alert them about what he’d said. The following day I went to our employee assistance program and they told me about Oak Tree Corner. I passed the info along to my brother, who did nothing.

A few weeks later, I got my paycheck and was surprised to find a notice about Oak Tree Corner holding a volunteer training. I’ve been volunteering ever since.

As of right now, my oldest nephew is doing well, with a family of his own. Unfortunately, the youngest hasn’t fared that well. He’s a heroin addict, in and out of jail. Currently, he’s doing well and we’re all hopeful.

What keeps me coming back to Oak Tree is that if I feel I made the tiniest difference in a grieving child’s life, I can’t ask for more than that.

Bonnie has been with Oak Tree Corner since 1996. She’s an avid sports fan and enjoys gardening and hanging out with her family and pets in her free time. Bonnie works at Kettering Health Network as a Medical Lab Technician. She’s worked there for 44 years.

Friday, March 14, 2014

Silver Lining Celebration - Saturday, April 12th!

Oak Tree Corner will be hosting the annual Silver Lining Celebration on April 12th, 2014 at the Oak Tree Corner house in Oakwood. The celebration will last from noon to 6pm. Come join us for refreshments, conversation, and fantastic raffle prizes!

The raffle drawing will begin at 5:30pm. You need not be present to win, but we do need you to be there to support Oak Tree Corner and hundreds of children. We hope to see you!

Can’t make it on April 12th? Consider making an online donation, or take a look at some of the other ways you can help Oak Tree Corner.

Oak Tree Corner's Silver Lining Celebration
2312 Far Hills Ave.
Dayton, OH 45419

Saturday, April 12
12pm - 6pm

Please call us at (937) 285-0199 or email us at oaktreecorner@mail.com with any questions.


Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Why I Come to Oak Tree Corner: Part One

In our last post, we explored what an Oak Tree Corner meeting is like. We begin each meeting by passing around a talking stick, stating our name and why we come to Oak Tree Corner.

We’re introducing a new series of posts today, aptly titled “Why I Come to Oak Tree Corner,” in which current and past members will share what brought them to Oak Tree Corner and why they continue to come. We hope you enjoy them!

Today's post is by Jennifer Crocker, who has been volunteering for Oak Tree Corner since 2003.